So this morning i woke up with Tracy Jordan in my head. But...it's pretty appropriate...
"This is not a drill people!"
Now, this quote is in reference to season 2 or was it 3....episode of "Post-nup" and it was when Tracy and his wife were about to...well...you know ; ) That is not how i'm using this quote....
Seriously...as I woke up, today is the 18th....Ry preaches and then we drop the kiddos off and go out to the bbq to meet the team leaders at Sunland and hopefully connect well with them to move onto the next stage of their interview/candidating process on August 8th. And the words of Tracy Jordan woke me up..."This is not a drill people!"
It's not. Its the 18th .... sigh...phew...if you think about it, pray for us today...the bbq is at 4.
I'll write and keep you posted this week and post some long awaited photos of our summer thus far.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
First angel game!
We recently (last week) took the kids with our church to their first Angel Game. As Ry predicted, William said at the end of the 4th, "When can we go home?!" However, they totally did better than I thought they would. They sat, played with their friends, learned the art of eating sunflower seeds and peanuts in the shell, and crashed when we got home.
We had a blast...such a fun summer event! How is your summer? What are you doing? We are trying to plan an excursion of some sort each week...this was our first of the summer
We had a blast...such a fun summer event! How is your summer? What are you doing? We are trying to plan an excursion of some sort each week...this was our first of the summer
Our self portrait
My boy
Is this love or hate? I can't remember when I captured the photo at the tailgate party...
Tailgating it under the Big A
Condo photos
Cute little reading nook under the stairs...Em's little school spot too...she loves reading under there and doing 'school' (since we're on summer break)
View from the loft to the downstairs
The living room
The kids room-or just Em's bunk with her new bedding (thanks katrina!!)
Our bedroom
Okay....long awaited condo photos!!
I've chosen not to hang photos b/c of knowing that this condo really is temporary-we might be here for only 2 more months, or a lot longer, once we hear from Sunland more specifically and have our next interview on the 18th, we'll have a better picture of how much longer we'll be here. In the meantime, I can't tell you how much of a retreat and blessing this condo has been. I barely ever need to turn on the lights because of all the natural lighting. I think we've ran the a/c a total of 2hrs since moving here (and that was basically on moving day!) because when you open up all the windows, the breeze makes you feel like you're at the beach. i LOVE LOVE LOVE this place. I think it will be harder to leave our condo than it was to leave Biola! this place is a gift that I can't thank my in laws enough for. I pray that the Lord will bring us another retreat like this place has been for our next home...and perhaps we can be there long enough for me to hang stuff!!
Summer Fav....
So...this summer as we've been at the new condo (i know...photos coming soon), my good friend Charity has taught me how to make a mean mojito! I made them for my friend's birthday party this past weekend and they were a hit. Here is the recipe. I also made them in old peanut butter jars that I thought would be just too fun to drink out of (and a free way to replace some of our old glasses that have broken...i LOVE drinking out of the jars-see above!!)
The Chartender (i named it after my friend, charity!) Mojito:
Shopping List:
Bacardi Rum Limon (clear rum, not the brown colored rum)
A fresh bunch of mint, not the kind that has the soil still on the stems (you can get some at albertsons I know like that)
Ice
Lime seltzer water
Sugar
Limes (about a 1/2 a lime per drink)
Directions:
10 leaves of mint and two mint stems broken at the bottom of your jar/glass
1 T and 1t of sugar
4 small lime slices slightly squeezed into the jar then dropped to the bottom of jar
Take your muddler and mash, mash, twist, twist and smoosh your limes, mint leaves and sugar all up. The goal is to have the mint leaves all broken up, the limes totally pulped and juice mixing up with the sugar.
Next pour 2 1/2 oz of Bacardi Limon Rum into jar of mashed up mint/sugar/lime mix
6 ice cubes, or whatever makes the jar fill 1/2 up with ice
invert jar into a cocktail shaker, with the jar acting as your lid/cover
Shake vigorously over the sink and make sure you hold onto the shaker and glass jar at the same time so the jar doesn't go flying off into your kitchen : ) Shake about 20 times to make sure the ice has cooled the lime/sugar/mint/rum mixture
Remove glass jar and pour the contents of the cocktail shaker into the jar
Take the lime seltzer water and pour about 1/2 glass jar worth around the interior of the cocktail shaker to get all that final mojito mixture out of the shaker and pour into the glass jar to the rim of the jar.
Squeeze a final lime on top of mojito, stir, add straw and ENJOY!!
Lemme know if you like them!! Next, it's my goal to figure out how to make the Hollywood Bowl's sangria. It's about $28 at the bowl and i'm SURE it's way cheaper at home and just as delish! I'll post the final recipe once I figure it out : )
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Moved
I've moved my 'no shopping experiment' to just being here at our adventures. I've wanted to move it for a while, but have been busy. I took the time tonight to copy all my old blogs about it, and will be in the process of moving them here. Bear with me as some older posts about no shopping that you may have read will be here and repeated. Still not shopping (except for a few very needed items) till my birthday in August. I don't even know what that will be like! Anyway...enjoy.
My Story:
So, here is a bit of the background of my story which will hopefully illuminate the reason why i am choosing to abstain from shopping for a semester (or maybe a year-going to re-evaluate this in the wintertime)
4 years into marriage and $12,000 of credit debt, I looked into going back to school. I didn't know how this was going to happen as I looked over credit statements showing us where we were at. However, there was no 'We" in this. I paid the bills, I was the one who told Ryan where we were at with the money-and I didn't tell him where we were at financially. As long as everything was paid and he had money in his pocket, he didn't ask or need to wonder where we were at. He began the wonder how we were able to afford some of the things we were doing, but never brought it up. This was ths Spirit beginning to prompt him to ask..,
One evening I went to my in-laws house to talk to them about school and if they would be willing to help out with the costs of it. It was at that time they shared with me of an inheritance they were going to be giving us from Ed's mother who has recently passed. This amount would mostly pay for school and pay off our debt. I cried. I cried for three reasons. One, that the Lord knew-he knew the exact number we needed and he saved us in ways we would never have been able to save ourselves. Two-humbled to my core that he would save us in the midst of my utter sin. And three-i had to tell ryan financially where we were at.
Well...a slap on the hand, two degrees, two children and 5 years later, we find ourselves in the same predicament again. How did this happen again!!? We were in the clear! I know why...I hid. I hid from the man I commited my life to an addiction I had that I kept saying I had under control. Shopping. There is a caviat-i'm not the only one-my husband loves to buy things and go out to eat etc..etc...but i never said no, we can't afford this or that. Consumption really is the word of my addiction. But, am I alone? I have to admit, it feels pretty lonely here...I know I am not though...
This is why I am choosing to blog about it. Well...several reasons. I type faster than I write, but of paramount cause-because I don't want to hide anymore. If I continue to choose the path that I have chosen to live, loss will be my future. Satan will do anything to continue his directive in me to hide-and I can't let that happen anymore. Where there is light, there is no darkness. I want to be known. I have NO clue who will find this blog and read it, but my prayer is that it reasonates with some in a some small degree, and that as I process and journey my way through my self-prescribed rehab, that we can all minister to one another.
Who doesn't have an addiction of some sort? What does it look like to walk each day thinking outside the box of consumption and to see how truly each one of my needs has been met and I need for not that much.
thank you for indulging me as I wonder into this world of light and Love. welcome to my blog. welcome to my journey.
Monday, June 28, 2010
quiet
Quiet:
I've been pretty quiet from here for a while. You know when you have not talked to a friend in quite a while and then you begin to realize that the more distance between conversations, you'll need further explanation into why the distance became wider and wider. That is how I feel about dialouging about this. It is not as thought I want to avoid talking about what is going on inside in this process of not shopping, but I have to be honest, it does get a bit tiring. Have you ever wanted something to just be done? It's not that I am desperate to shop, that i want my rehab to be done...in fact...this week for the first time I bought a cardigan. I wanted to go into a store (KMart...I know...not glamous, but not a tempting place for me. I thought I'd check out a cardigan while I picked up medicine for our daughter) and see about a cardigan. I had my allowance...I found the exact color cardigan i'd been looking for (blue) and it is a cute boyfriend kind of cardi...got it ($12!) and came home. the interesting thing is, i felt the need to hide my purchase. I didn't want to tell Ryan because am I suppose to shop yet? The rehab isn't over till 8/29/10...
So...it was a weird conversation to have with Ryan about my cardigan. He was fine with it...I think i wasn't. like I was committing adultry to my rehab committment. Part of it is re-emursing myself it shopping in a healthy way...how do you do that? is there really a right way?
another reason of being quiet...there has been a lot of other things going on by way of vocational distractions that have kept me occupied rather than thinking about shopping...and i've found myself not really thinking about shopping or filling the void, space or bordem or avoidance of things with shopping. you may ask, "what then are you filing it with?" well...I just honestly have't had the time to think about shopping. I even have some gift cards that I could spend (was given permission to spend them, but may hold onto them till my birthday) and just haven't wanted to. i have filled the void with busyness. I have a load of clients / directees this semester, teaching two classes (or rather facilitating groups within those classes) and trying to figure out my husband's potential job (he's been interviewing at several places). but i think mostly the quiet has been wondering if i really had anything to share, to say...there are some familiar voices that have been visiting in my mind (you wouldn't need x amount of dollars from any job he's hunting for if you didn't have this debt...) blah blah blah...i just keep telling those voices, 'blah blah blah' so what else do you have to say?!?! don't you just get tired of those voices? relentless, just beginning to become quiet as well...
so many challenges still...but still plugging away at the rehab...
It has been a while since I have visited this blog. I think so much was going on that I just couldn't write it. It felt too overwhelming...Even now it feels overwhelming, but cathartic as well. I have wanted to write, but just didn't have it in me.
The road of dying to your self and watching Christ redeem is a hard road. Transformation is hard. Hard is not even a strong enough word. There are days of victory, and days of utter defeat.
I haven't shopped since my birthday...haven't even wanted to even venture into a store actually. I've even sort of stopped reading all the blogs I was reading on how to repurspose clothing because it was bringing up that feeling of I have to make this, I have to do this, I have to show that I am creative, productive and NOT what I am feeling right now. So, I stopped.
The defeat I have been feeling is just knowing and sitting in my sin and there is nothing i can do about it...yet here is the victory and one who can do something about it...he can redeem. he is and has
here is where we've been with the Lord the last two days....
Me:
2 Cor 3:12-18
12Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold. 13We
are not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face to keep the
Israelites from gazing at it while the radiance was fading away. 14But
their minds were made dull, for to this day the same veil remains when
the old covenant is read. It has not been removed, because only in
Christ is it taken away. 15Even to this day when Moses is read, a veil covers their hearts. 16But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. 17Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 18And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect[a]
the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with
ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
Hello....17-18....especially 18....And we, who with unveild faces all reflect the Lord's glory....stop here...
I reflect His glory? BECAUSE OF CHRIST!! The veil has been lifted. Whenever I turn to the Lord, the veil is taken away. He paid the price for my sin. I can't fix myself, I can't fix our finances (I can be from this point on someone who submits, surrenders and obeys his call of stewardship...I can turn from my ways and into his redpemtive power that illuminates the path towards wisdom, grace and truth)...but he is transforming me/us. He is showing us radically not how we spend, but the why...and through this surrender of control-that every purchase doesn't only cost money, but there is another cost to it as well, isn't there? That cost is the deeper journey....Do I need this? Does this fill me or does Christ? I can have nice things, but is it within our budget...can I spend money within the budget instead of seeing that we have a little extra, so we can go out, or just live paycheck to paycheck...that is not freedom! That doesn't free me up to be able to do ministry. Debt looms....but it is SOOO teaching me so much more than just to irradicate it. Christ wants all of me....every nook and crannie....every part of my inner most being to be transformed into his likeness with ever increasing glory....this transformation can only happen IN CHRIST. not in anthropologie or jcrew...i can put on a new self for you all to see...but will you see Christ in me? Isn't that our ultimate goal? Even if i put on a new purse or shoe or pant....did I do it within my means? there is a fear there that I won't be able to. What if the debt was gone...what if there was a freedom, would i run to target or run to christ? if i run to target would i spend what i am given and stay within my means, or goarge myself and binge on purchases?
and this is where Ryan was too...he could get another job...I could try to get more clients...teach more classes...but is this being responsible or is this trusting? Ryan had a second job, and through the 5 years of that second job we racked up all this debt, even when we had all that extra money, we just spent and spent and spent. God took the job and gave it to another. I have NO regrets or resentment towards that at all. We were not suppose to be in that job any longer. So...are we to get a second job? If he provided another to replace us in that job...are we to not get another one? are we suppose to surrender and trust for him to provide? ry has a job interview next week...LORD-please reveal to us in this next week wisdom as to what to do....there has been so much excavation and meetings and ideas and processing...dark hours and dreams and tears and embraces....what are we to do? which road to take, Lord? Only you can save us. You have....
I'm listening to Pandora right now (brooke fraiser radio...ah...i LOVE her! i can sing i her range!) and this song came up...I can't sing this song in church without tears....
1,000 times i have failed, still your mercy remains
should I stumble again, i'm caught in your grace
everlasting your light will shine when all else fails, never ending your glory goes beyond all fame
your will above all else still my purpose remains
the art of loosing myself, in bringing you praise
my heart and my soul, i give you control, consume me from the inside out, Lord
let justice and grace become my embrace
to love you from the inside out....
amen....may you be continuing the transformation even thought it's hard, painful, amazing, wonderful. may you continue to reveal your ever increasing glory in us....amen....
I've been pretty quiet from here for a while. You know when you have not talked to a friend in quite a while and then you begin to realize that the more distance between conversations, you'll need further explanation into why the distance became wider and wider. That is how I feel about dialouging about this. It is not as thought I want to avoid talking about what is going on inside in this process of not shopping, but I have to be honest, it does get a bit tiring. Have you ever wanted something to just be done? It's not that I am desperate to shop, that i want my rehab to be done...in fact...this week for the first time I bought a cardigan. I wanted to go into a store (KMart...I know...not glamous, but not a tempting place for me. I thought I'd check out a cardigan while I picked up medicine for our daughter) and see about a cardigan. I had my allowance...I found the exact color cardigan i'd been looking for (blue) and it is a cute boyfriend kind of cardi...got it ($12!) and came home. the interesting thing is, i felt the need to hide my purchase. I didn't want to tell Ryan because am I suppose to shop yet? The rehab isn't over till 8/29/10...
So...it was a weird conversation to have with Ryan about my cardigan. He was fine with it...I think i wasn't. like I was committing adultry to my rehab committment. Part of it is re-emursing myself it shopping in a healthy way...how do you do that? is there really a right way?
another reason of being quiet...there has been a lot of other things going on by way of vocational distractions that have kept me occupied rather than thinking about shopping...and i've found myself not really thinking about shopping or filling the void, space or bordem or avoidance of things with shopping. you may ask, "what then are you filing it with?" well...I just honestly have't had the time to think about shopping. I even have some gift cards that I could spend (was given permission to spend them, but may hold onto them till my birthday) and just haven't wanted to. i have filled the void with busyness. I have a load of clients / directees this semester, teaching two classes (or rather facilitating groups within those classes) and trying to figure out my husband's potential job (he's been interviewing at several places). but i think mostly the quiet has been wondering if i really had anything to share, to say...there are some familiar voices that have been visiting in my mind (you wouldn't need x amount of dollars from any job he's hunting for if you didn't have this debt...) blah blah blah...i just keep telling those voices, 'blah blah blah' so what else do you have to say?!?! don't you just get tired of those voices? relentless, just beginning to become quiet as well...
so many challenges still...but still plugging away at the rehab...
It has been a while since I have visited this blog. I think so much was going on that I just couldn't write it. It felt too overwhelming...Even now it feels overwhelming, but cathartic as well. I have wanted to write, but just didn't have it in me.
The road of dying to your self and watching Christ redeem is a hard road. Transformation is hard. Hard is not even a strong enough word. There are days of victory, and days of utter defeat.
I haven't shopped since my birthday...haven't even wanted to even venture into a store actually. I've even sort of stopped reading all the blogs I was reading on how to repurspose clothing because it was bringing up that feeling of I have to make this, I have to do this, I have to show that I am creative, productive and NOT what I am feeling right now. So, I stopped.
The defeat I have been feeling is just knowing and sitting in my sin and there is nothing i can do about it...yet here is the victory and one who can do something about it...he can redeem. he is and has
here is where we've been with the Lord the last two days....
Me:
2 Cor 3:12-18
12Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold. 13We
are not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face to keep the
Israelites from gazing at it while the radiance was fading away. 14But
their minds were made dull, for to this day the same veil remains when
the old covenant is read. It has not been removed, because only in
Christ is it taken away. 15Even to this day when Moses is read, a veil covers their hearts. 16But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. 17Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 18And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect[a]
the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with
ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
Hello....17-18....especially 18....And we, who with unveild faces all reflect the Lord's glory....stop here...
I reflect His glory? BECAUSE OF CHRIST!! The veil has been lifted. Whenever I turn to the Lord, the veil is taken away. He paid the price for my sin. I can't fix myself, I can't fix our finances (I can be from this point on someone who submits, surrenders and obeys his call of stewardship...I can turn from my ways and into his redpemtive power that illuminates the path towards wisdom, grace and truth)...but he is transforming me/us. He is showing us radically not how we spend, but the why...and through this surrender of control-that every purchase doesn't only cost money, but there is another cost to it as well, isn't there? That cost is the deeper journey....Do I need this? Does this fill me or does Christ? I can have nice things, but is it within our budget...can I spend money within the budget instead of seeing that we have a little extra, so we can go out, or just live paycheck to paycheck...that is not freedom! That doesn't free me up to be able to do ministry. Debt looms....but it is SOOO teaching me so much more than just to irradicate it. Christ wants all of me....every nook and crannie....every part of my inner most being to be transformed into his likeness with ever increasing glory....this transformation can only happen IN CHRIST. not in anthropologie or jcrew...i can put on a new self for you all to see...but will you see Christ in me? Isn't that our ultimate goal? Even if i put on a new purse or shoe or pant....did I do it within my means? there is a fear there that I won't be able to. What if the debt was gone...what if there was a freedom, would i run to target or run to christ? if i run to target would i spend what i am given and stay within my means, or goarge myself and binge on purchases?
and this is where Ryan was too...he could get another job...I could try to get more clients...teach more classes...but is this being responsible or is this trusting? Ryan had a second job, and through the 5 years of that second job we racked up all this debt, even when we had all that extra money, we just spent and spent and spent. God took the job and gave it to another. I have NO regrets or resentment towards that at all. We were not suppose to be in that job any longer. So...are we to get a second job? If he provided another to replace us in that job...are we to not get another one? are we suppose to surrender and trust for him to provide? ry has a job interview next week...LORD-please reveal to us in this next week wisdom as to what to do....there has been so much excavation and meetings and ideas and processing...dark hours and dreams and tears and embraces....what are we to do? which road to take, Lord? Only you can save us. You have....
I'm listening to Pandora right now (brooke fraiser radio...ah...i LOVE her! i can sing i her range!) and this song came up...I can't sing this song in church without tears....
1,000 times i have failed, still your mercy remains
should I stumble again, i'm caught in your grace
everlasting your light will shine when all else fails, never ending your glory goes beyond all fame
your will above all else still my purpose remains
the art of loosing myself, in bringing you praise
my heart and my soul, i give you control, consume me from the inside out, Lord
let justice and grace become my embrace
to love you from the inside out....
amen....may you be continuing the transformation even thought it's hard, painful, amazing, wonderful. may you continue to reveal your ever increasing glory in us....amen....
Catch up
Wow...it's been quite a while since I wrote....
So...if anyone IS actually reading this, I wonder if you have thoughts of what it has been like to be me in the midst of the most consumeristic season of the American year. Here is what it has been like (I should have written as each moment came...but...it was also a season of getting grades in...)
In an effort to not spend too much, we opened a separate checking account (which gifted us with $150 dollars just for joining!! extra Christmas money!) with money that was gifted to us through doing some pre-martial counseling. With that money, Ryan and I sat down one night and decided what we would spend on each member of our family that we were to exchange gifts with and those who also needed gifts due to work exchanges. With some sewing that I did (aLOT of sewing...), blowing up photos and making $10 calendars (thankYOU costco!) and re-purposing frames for gifts...etc...etc...we were able to give each person (20 folks total, including Ryan and I) a gift. It was a blessing. We also were able to give 10% of that money towards two chickens and two soccer balls via worldvision.com as a gift to Jesus. We wanted to do something with the kids in order to help them to better understand this season...i hope to make this a tradition...
how do you talk to your kids about the gifts they didn't get?
all day on christmas day our son was moping all about. he is a stubborn little man and i figured it was because he wanted to go home and play on his new drum set/kit (someone GAVE us an AWESOME drum kit because they knew he loved rock and roll music!!!). no. that wasn't it. he was upset that he didn't get a star wars laptop. this laptop that was at costco that he held in his hand for like 30 seconds...that gift is the gift that was stuck in his mind that he didn't receive....that was the cause of his moping about. once i stepped out a bit from my frustration with his attitude, i couldn't help but relate to the little guy. no matter how much i have received, or wanted...there was still a ting of wanting more...all the things that i got that didn't fill me whole. i sat in the car and talked to him a little bit about how the gifts he had received were from the heart and not to make him mad...asking him how he'd feel if we didn't like the gifts we received from him and actually told him so...and just talking and listening to him a bit more about how he liked the laptop and that indeed there are times in life we don't always get what we want...but how can we let those who love us and who thought a lot about what they purchased for you, how we can with a thankful heart give them a gift by saying thank you. man...how would you have handled that?
again, i do go back to how i relate to him. that day, i got an amazing gift. a nikon 3000 dslr. the only thing i kept thinking was, "does it do hd video?" it doesn't. i was discontent. could i be more selfish? i talked to the Lord about it. why was it that i got this amazing gift that i had wanted for soooo long...and still wished for more? can i be content? i was fine the day before when i didn't have a dslr. it is a pretty amazing camera. i was thinking out of convenience sake that having everything in one camera versus having a dslr, a video camera and a point and shoot...what if they were just all in one...my rationale was rather rational. however, still...this train of thinking still left me wanting more...
how can be content in this world when everything changes and the next and best thing will always be out there...
lord, i need you.
So...if anyone IS actually reading this, I wonder if you have thoughts of what it has been like to be me in the midst of the most consumeristic season of the American year. Here is what it has been like (I should have written as each moment came...but...it was also a season of getting grades in...)
In an effort to not spend too much, we opened a separate checking account (which gifted us with $150 dollars just for joining!! extra Christmas money!) with money that was gifted to us through doing some pre-martial counseling. With that money, Ryan and I sat down one night and decided what we would spend on each member of our family that we were to exchange gifts with and those who also needed gifts due to work exchanges. With some sewing that I did (aLOT of sewing...), blowing up photos and making $10 calendars (thankYOU costco!) and re-purposing frames for gifts...etc...etc...we were able to give each person (20 folks total, including Ryan and I) a gift. It was a blessing. We also were able to give 10% of that money towards two chickens and two soccer balls via worldvision.com as a gift to Jesus. We wanted to do something with the kids in order to help them to better understand this season...i hope to make this a tradition...
how do you talk to your kids about the gifts they didn't get?
all day on christmas day our son was moping all about. he is a stubborn little man and i figured it was because he wanted to go home and play on his new drum set/kit (someone GAVE us an AWESOME drum kit because they knew he loved rock and roll music!!!). no. that wasn't it. he was upset that he didn't get a star wars laptop. this laptop that was at costco that he held in his hand for like 30 seconds...that gift is the gift that was stuck in his mind that he didn't receive....that was the cause of his moping about. once i stepped out a bit from my frustration with his attitude, i couldn't help but relate to the little guy. no matter how much i have received, or wanted...there was still a ting of wanting more...all the things that i got that didn't fill me whole. i sat in the car and talked to him a little bit about how the gifts he had received were from the heart and not to make him mad...asking him how he'd feel if we didn't like the gifts we received from him and actually told him so...and just talking and listening to him a bit more about how he liked the laptop and that indeed there are times in life we don't always get what we want...but how can we let those who love us and who thought a lot about what they purchased for you, how we can with a thankful heart give them a gift by saying thank you. man...how would you have handled that?
again, i do go back to how i relate to him. that day, i got an amazing gift. a nikon 3000 dslr. the only thing i kept thinking was, "does it do hd video?" it doesn't. i was discontent. could i be more selfish? i talked to the Lord about it. why was it that i got this amazing gift that i had wanted for soooo long...and still wished for more? can i be content? i was fine the day before when i didn't have a dslr. it is a pretty amazing camera. i was thinking out of convenience sake that having everything in one camera versus having a dslr, a video camera and a point and shoot...what if they were just all in one...my rationale was rather rational. however, still...this train of thinking still left me wanting more...
how can be content in this world when everything changes and the next and best thing will always be out there...
lord, i need you.
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