As I have be grazing over all these blogs on sewing, homemaking, decorating....i have this huge rush in my stomach as if it is saying, "okay...get to it, get making, cooking, decorating...catch up...show 'em that you are creative...post it..." etc...etc...and it occurred to me...is this sort of a facade? do we show the true us on these blogs? would you read it if i did?
in an effort to not glamorize our life...i want to be honest and not just have this blog out there (to whomever in the world is reading it) showing the world how glossy and pretty we are. Even though it may look like all is fine the world of the Lows, there are times and days that are trying and difficult and test my faith. i don't want to come across as someone who has their life together through this blog...because i/we don't. i must and need desperately to lean into the Love that pursues me each and every day-that is the love of the Lord. that pursuit is transforming me into His image...but that transformation comes at a cost, doesn't it?
does anyone else feel like that? i think that rush to my stomach of all the things that i should be accomplishing is something that can also turn me towards Love...towards opening in that moment to the Lord and saying to him, "really...do you really want me to live that way? how then would you have me respond dear Lord? "
so...now i look to sewing as a spiritual discipline...follow me here...
i love to shop. too much. it is something that i struggle with and am really trying to seek out the roots of what it is that i need to fill by shopping...so in an effort to not shop but to still provide for our family...i now am learning to sew. so i look at this blog (http://mymamamadeit.blogspot.com/) and it shows how to repurpose your children's old shirts into new shirts/dresses etc...i LOVE that. i have some scraps of fabric...i take the shirt and as i (tonight) go to the sewing machine...i can talk with the Lord about it, however cheesy this may sound, it helps me to see that he has provided for us. he has given me this shirt that can be repurposed into another outfit, maybe two...that he has created me to be creative and that creative energy that tells me, "get going...decorate, sew, clean!" is now channeled into a time of devotion and worship while i'm sewing with free items that the Lord has given to us.
does this make sense to you at all?
this is all in a daily effort to look towards the Lord and not towards the things on earth that call to me, "you need this to make your life prettier, better..." lord, my desire is to follow you. please walk with me as i struggle and as i succeed...may i always be open to you.
thanks for processing with me... : )
Thursday, August 6, 2009
NEW place to eat...
If you know me well...you know i LOVE breakfast food...and especially at quant little privately owned places (although if you want to take me to breakfast, i'll go wherever!)
here is my new favorite place...Rialto Cafe. http://rialtocafefullerton.com/
do not walk...RUN to go there. 8:30am i think they open...
the coffee comes in these great anthropologie-esque ceramic mugs. i swear it makes the coffee taste better!
i ate there two times this week...both dishes were awesome. it's pricey-but the portions (especially the pancakes) are totally splitable as well as the kids portions and as far as i can tell, there is no split charge-just a charge on substitutions.
they only let you split the check two ways
the decor is darling and inspirational...
i got the wheat pancakes with their homemade granola in it (brown sugar bits of oats and cranberries...delish!) drizzled with maple syrup...$9. you get two pancakes...that basically cover the WHOLE plate. i got a to-go box right away and put 1/2 in it just so i could put the syrup on them without it dripping all over the table.
the next day i got the rialto rancheros. Ammmmmaaazzzzing. the bruschetta topping on the eggs is toDIE for.
the water is complimentary (upon request) and tastes like you are in a day spa! it has a cucumber/melon aftertaste to it. sooo refreshing on these warm days.
RYAN...TAKE me here for my birthday!!! (hint hint wink wink!)
inspiration
so...recently, i've been sewing and searching out new ideas for sewing...i think i've created a monster!! soooo...this blog world that is out there is pretty overwhelming me with the ideas of some majorly creative people and then at the same time it's like, "ohhh...there are others out there like me who look at things and try to figure out how to repurpose and reuse things!"
so...http://mymamamadeit.blogspot.com/ is like my new blog of the day on repurposing your kids outfits....check out:
http://mymamamadeit.blogspot.com/search/label/children%27s%20clothing%20refahioning%20children%27s%20tutorial
so...guess what i'll be doing tonight!! SYTYCD finale (GO JEANINE!!) and sewing new clothes for em for school out of old shirts!!!! am i a nerd? didn't we all used to go out and party late into the night and now that we are married with kids and old, did i ever think i'd be home doing this? i'm sooo glad i am though. THANK YOU AGAIN ed and linda for my sewing machine...THANK YOU!
oh...and a shot out to http://www.leeloublogs.blogspot.com/ for the new free template for my blog. it's a bit busy but i LOVE the colors, so summery!! i'll have to adjust the photos and stuff, but i needed to redo this blog, it needed a face lift...
what are your inspirations for today?
p.s. the photos are of the clothes i just made for emily...my very first shirt and skirt for her!! i just made another skirt (with MAJOR assistance from my dear aunt LeAnne and my mom in law the lovely Linda. ) i'll photog that one and show it to you. i got the pattern from somewhere online...i can't recall, sorry! if you want it, i'll find it and send you the link
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
peace
sorry we've been so silent. we have had such a busy few weeks that have also been a roller coaster. i'll post photos soon of our lovely fun and whirlwind time with our dear dear aunt leanne...but for now, just wanted to share the latest on the job hunt...
so...when i say whirlwind, i really mean it. this past month we spoke with a church in the area about their vacant senior pastor position. it is a church that is also in our denomination. our pastor with whom ryan is super close and just finished serving under (ry is no longer the worship director at wilshire ave as of the last sunday in june...such an amazing 5 years and such a great transition out of employed ministry at wilshire) suggested to this churches search committee that they should look at ryan as a potential candidate. and so they did.
ry spoke with them on the phone a few times, sent off the application, answered their questions, they came and heard him preach (he ROCKED it in my biased opinion!) and then we visted their church twice. ryan then went through two pretty long and gruling interviews with the denomination as well as an interview with the churches pastoral search committee. i was there with him during his 2 1/2 hour interview. i personally wouldn't have known how to answer 1/2 of the questions they presented to him-i am so proud of his poise, thoughtful responses and patience with the committee as they asked question after question of him.
after all of this and some really great exchanges with folks from the committee, they came to the conclusion that upon review of his interview, application and experience that they were going to continue their search elsewhere and thanked us for our time.
i have to say, that was a kick to the gut at first. this all happened in a span of a month. how could they not want ryan?? are they nuts?!?!? however...upon calming down and pausing, we both feel such a great peace about this. the one thing that seemed sooo great about this church is that it was familiar. we knew the culture of this church b/c we grew up in simular environments and it was geographically close to our families. however, the Lord is soooo good. truly. i say that without any cheese or fakeness. he is. there was a lot about the church that we were unsure of, but willing to continue on in the process should we be called. it is also days away from the craziest month in ry's job...august. the RAs come back, training begins, students move in and the semester begins all over again...and to be candidating at a church, and possibly even moving is not how we wanted to finish our time at biola. biola has been and continues to be a gift to us in ways we can never describe and to just up an leave would be dishonoring to them. really, there is such a peace. our Lord is so much bigger than our expectations or assumptions. there is so much we really want to do in ministry that sometimes it is scary to think that what if what we want to do doesn't exist? how will be get by? being in the 'box' of a church is easy in that you consistently get paid, there are benefits, you sort of know the rythmn of things...but i am learning to trust in more than the box...and it's hard...but there is peace and grace (thank you LORD!) in the process of learning...
for now, we stay at biola. we greet our new RAs next week and greet the new semester with our 9th (yes, you counted and read correctly, NINETH!) staff...
so...thanks for reading the update...for allowing me to still process as i type this out...i hope it makes sense, i'm too tired to proofread and spell check (sorry!). so, we are still in the process of looking and praying for what is next...thank you for being family and joining us in prayer with us.
i'll post new photos of the kids (em lost another tooth! she is missing her two bottom ones!) and our time with family last week soon (we miss you leann!!!). in the meantime...i am truly thankful for the peace i feel in not being asked to continue on to candidate and we look for what is next.
much love to you and yours...
so...when i say whirlwind, i really mean it. this past month we spoke with a church in the area about their vacant senior pastor position. it is a church that is also in our denomination. our pastor with whom ryan is super close and just finished serving under (ry is no longer the worship director at wilshire ave as of the last sunday in june...such an amazing 5 years and such a great transition out of employed ministry at wilshire) suggested to this churches search committee that they should look at ryan as a potential candidate. and so they did.
ry spoke with them on the phone a few times, sent off the application, answered their questions, they came and heard him preach (he ROCKED it in my biased opinion!) and then we visted their church twice. ryan then went through two pretty long and gruling interviews with the denomination as well as an interview with the churches pastoral search committee. i was there with him during his 2 1/2 hour interview. i personally wouldn't have known how to answer 1/2 of the questions they presented to him-i am so proud of his poise, thoughtful responses and patience with the committee as they asked question after question of him.
after all of this and some really great exchanges with folks from the committee, they came to the conclusion that upon review of his interview, application and experience that they were going to continue their search elsewhere and thanked us for our time.
i have to say, that was a kick to the gut at first. this all happened in a span of a month. how could they not want ryan?? are they nuts?!?!? however...upon calming down and pausing, we both feel such a great peace about this. the one thing that seemed sooo great about this church is that it was familiar. we knew the culture of this church b/c we grew up in simular environments and it was geographically close to our families. however, the Lord is soooo good. truly. i say that without any cheese or fakeness. he is. there was a lot about the church that we were unsure of, but willing to continue on in the process should we be called. it is also days away from the craziest month in ry's job...august. the RAs come back, training begins, students move in and the semester begins all over again...and to be candidating at a church, and possibly even moving is not how we wanted to finish our time at biola. biola has been and continues to be a gift to us in ways we can never describe and to just up an leave would be dishonoring to them. really, there is such a peace. our Lord is so much bigger than our expectations or assumptions. there is so much we really want to do in ministry that sometimes it is scary to think that what if what we want to do doesn't exist? how will be get by? being in the 'box' of a church is easy in that you consistently get paid, there are benefits, you sort of know the rythmn of things...but i am learning to trust in more than the box...and it's hard...but there is peace and grace (thank you LORD!) in the process of learning...
for now, we stay at biola. we greet our new RAs next week and greet the new semester with our 9th (yes, you counted and read correctly, NINETH!) staff...
so...thanks for reading the update...for allowing me to still process as i type this out...i hope it makes sense, i'm too tired to proofread and spell check (sorry!). so, we are still in the process of looking and praying for what is next...thank you for being family and joining us in prayer with us.
i'll post new photos of the kids (em lost another tooth! she is missing her two bottom ones!) and our time with family last week soon (we miss you leann!!!). in the meantime...i am truly thankful for the peace i feel in not being asked to continue on to candidate and we look for what is next.
much love to you and yours...
Monday, July 13, 2009
We have a big girl
Emily lost her first tooth today...she ran into the bedroom at 7:30am, jumped up to wake me up with tooth in hand "look mom! i just poked my tongue through my tooth and it popped out onto my pillow!" sooooo amazing and so cute. Sigh...she's so big now!
Esther and David
Me, Jenny and Esther-we've been friends since Ry and I moved here to Biola-2001. I love those two women so much and we have so much fun together...Esther, i'm so thrilled for you and David!!
Such a fun to day celebrate my dear friend, Esther. Since I had been sick all week, I just kept praying i'd feel well enough to sit at the wedding, and I did!! Jenny-can you believe she is married?!?!?!? Our Esther??!?!?! He is just the perfect fit for her...I love seeing how the Lord puts people together and I look sooooo forward to their journey ahead...love you all!
Friday, July 10, 2009
Update..
Ah...Utah..the virgin river where it begins...Ry climbed / hiked over to it
Part of the hike to the river
don't they look so small? they were so cute..."ooohhh..mom...it's sooo beautiful"
the fish ry, anthony and marty caught...later gutted and bbqed...not bad!!
outside at the playground where we were staying...em would later successfully make it across the monkey bars for the first time ever! such a big girl now!!
em enjoying the hike
cedar breaks-way more beautiful than this photo captures!!
Cousins hiking with their fearless leader
Twins!
William LOVING the pool. that boy cried every night we said, "time to get out"
ah...finally...sitting and giving you an update...
1) i've been sick for a week. i think my body decided it was done with grad school, done with parties, done with our family road trip to utah (photos forthcoming) and so it finally gave out. literally. i couldn't sit up without feeling faint for a good 4-5 days. i finally got better enough to drive myself to a dear friend's wedding. (yeah esther and david!!!)
2) OFBIMP has been curbed for me for this past week and possibly next week as i recoop i had strep throat and an ear infection. how did that happen???!?! needless to say, i was quarentined and now am better (thank you amoxicillian!) ry will more than likely post an ever witty post about his chronicled progress...i'm so proud of him for his continued pursuit towards his pants fitting better, but more importantly-i'm so very thankful that he is taking his health seriously and making efforts to live well. i'm so proud! i'm proud of us!
now...this does go without saying...we still don't eat great when we go out-but at home we are making such great strides and besides the occassional coke for ryan (this is his drug of choice!) there is much to celebrate by way of lifestyle changes. slow going-but changes occuring nonetheless.
3) we are back from Utah! we made it! we survived! we (my sis in law, her hubbie, their three kids and us four...yes...9...together in a tiny condo in utah's brianhead...) all cooked, cleaned, fished, hiked, ate, played for 5 days together...it was so much fun! i didn't grow up with young cousins...mine were all older, so this had to have been such a blast for the babes. they all seemed to have such a great time! it was worth it and the road trip was not that bad at all! AND...i worked a deal and got a KILLER amazing VW routan (their version of a minivan) for the week. needless to say, i'm tryingt to be content with our sturdy tried and true accord...but man, i LOVED having a minivan. LOVED. ... .... LOVED. ; ) someday...but do we really need all that space and low gas mileage for a fam of four? someday soon we will have to get a new car (both our beloved hondas are about 180k and 145k respectively...keep on truckin' guys!!!) and when we do, i hope there is a biodiesel/hybrid/solar minivan! otherwise, i might just have to settle for something else!!
okay...enough rambling...i'll post some photos of our expeditions!!
p.s. I GOT MY SEWING MACHINE!! i LOVE it! i made em an shirt and it fits and is super cute!! i didn't take photos, sorry! and i have skirt in the works that matches it as well...but i've been sick...maybe tomorrow i can work on that-ah...that'd be soo much fun! !!! THANK YOU ED and linda for my machine! THANK YOU!! yeah!!! soon i'll take photos of my machine and i'll learn how to monogram!! okay...enough!!
hope you are all well! love you!
the lows
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