This morning I read the first couple pages of Henri Nouwen’s
books, “With Open Hands” and it just hit me how it really applies to Ryan’s
sermon and our journey together for Lent.
The resistance to
praying is like the resistance of tightly clinched fists. This image shows a tension, a desire to cling
tightly to yourself, a greediness which betrays fear. A story about an elderly woman brought to a
psychiatric center exemplifies this attitude.
She was wild, swinging at everything in sight, and frightening everyone
so much that the doctors had to take everything away from her. But there was one small coin that she gripped
in her fist and would not give up. In
fact it took two people to pry open that clenched hand. It was as though she would lose her very self
along with that coin. If they deprived
her of that last possession, she would have nothing more and be nothing
more. That was her fear.
When you are invited
to pray, you are asked to open your tightly clenched fist and give up your last
coin. But who wants to do that? A first prayer, therefore, is often a painful
prayer because you discover you don’t want to let go. You hold fast to what is familiar even if you
aren’t proud of it. You find yourself
saying, “That’s just how it is with me.
I would like it to be different, but it can’t be now. That’s just the way it is and this is the way
I’ll have to leave it. “ once you talk like that, you’ve already given up
believing that your life might be otherwise.
You’ve already let the hope for a new life float by…You feel it’s safer
to cling to the past than to trust in a new future. So you fill your hands with small, clammy
coins, which you don’t want to surrender.
I know first hand what it is like to hold onto a clammy
coin, trying to make my life work when hearing God so plainly that it’s as if
he’s right in front of me, asking me to release my hand and hand over the
coin-hand over my control and trust.
Surrender. Obey.
This excerpt from Henri Nouwen’s books, “With Open Hands”
gives us a picture that also corresponds to what the Lord said through Ryan
this past Sunday. I almost gave up my
coin, but I gave up everything else but that coin. I almost trusted…I almost surrendered…
On this second day of Lent, you might be feeling the loss of
what you are going to be giving up for these 40 days. Let that hunger that you have to grasp at
that desired activity or object move you towards Christ. Ask yourself the questions Ryan asked this
past weekend. Re-listen to the sermon
and consider what it will look like for you to enter into a posture of
surrender. If you can’t do it on your
own, ask a trusted friend to join you.
Let us spur one another onto love and good deeds (Heb 10:24) and move
together towards a life of surrender.
http://tinyurl.com/acs2v62
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