Update

Thank you so much for those who left comments and also folks who wrote me encouragement in this time. I'm sorry if I haven't gotten back to you (abbie...sorry!) it has just been non-stop.

I'll pick up where I left off. We heard back from Sunland. From what I hear, this is not typical. Once you tell churches no, they don't come back to you. I recalled as I looked over my journal that if we say no to any church, Lord, if it was the wrong move, would you please bring it back to us. I know that I haven't posted this, but all along after saying no to Sunland, I kept thinking, "was this wrong?" I just didn't know if it was wrong or right. I didn't want to think about it because I felt like I was considering Sunland again out of fear because we didn't have any other 'yes' out there. But, we moved and trusted in faith. And Sunland came back.

So, a LOT has happened this past week, but to summarize, we wrote back and forth with the (ah...coffee..just took my first sip of it....hello friend!) Duke, the senior pastor, and we are going out there for dinner (the two of us with Duke) next wednesday, then a meeting with elder board that night. Then if all goes well and i'm sure further talks, job descriptions, answered questions of the reasons why we said no the last time and why we're saying yes now (i'll answer that in a moment), we meet with the search committee on July 18th (right after Ryan preaches at our church) for a bbq get to know you and your family time.

I think the reasons why we said no, a few remain to be answered. I think some of those questions might not be answered until you get into the job. You can't predict every scenario, every political fight, every triumph. Church can be such a haven, yet also such a prison, and we have felt both as we have served in various capacities. Truth be told, I just think it's down right scary at times to go back into church ministry after all we've gone through at different churches. However, we still feel so very called to ministry, together, in the church. One major reason why we said no, was the fact that we just didn't have a 'no' yet from Talbot. And last monday , we received that no. I still have a job there, but I can make it how ever many hours I want, which with the potential of moving further away and with kiddos, this works out really great. The Lord knew this when he said no to us/me at Talbot. I'm so thankful he let me know right away why he said no...that was super kind!

So, we covet your continued prayers. Discernment is a huge one-we don't want to take this out of fear that there is nothing else out there. There is the hope of something else out there that we will more than likely hear about next week too. There is also another church that has contacted Ryan...so they are not our only thing...just our only sure thing. But, is that so wrong? We prayed. God responded. In a way we had NO idea about, could not even manipulate or plan. Please also pray that we'd have clear communication with the pastor to know exactly their expectations of Ryan and that some of the things they offered in the last time we spoke still are on the table for us. Oh, another big reason we said no was because of health care. They were not going to offer it to us. Please pray that either that changes, or our talk with one of their elders who is in insurance is helpful, provides health care that we can afford that is not going to forsake our family's well being. Again, I say these things fully knowing that the Lord will move you to pray on our behalf as he leads you...and fully knowing that if this is the place we are to go, that He will fill in the gaps and make it work. He has so far....he's even let me lament and cry out to him in despair (see two posts ago!) and still cares for me in each.

Lastly...a dear friend said to us, "give yourself permission to make the wrong decision". i wonder if by saying no the last time, that was the wrong decision because it was so hard to say no-it was such a leap of faith...and we liked Duke so very much and the idea of them being able to work together and basically co-pastor together, was (at least to me in my words) dreamy. Now, it's back. And even if it might be a wrong decision even now...I just don't think it is. I say that so boldly because we are praying, we are in his will, we are not off galavanting (sp?) and seeking out other things apart from the Lord. We are abiding. If it's not what we are suppose to do, then he'll make it apparent and provide another job later. He won't let us fall (ps 55, matthew 6:25-34). He made that clear last week...even when I knew in my head that he wouldn't let us fall, my heart needed to catch up.

thanks for your prayers and for reading while i process...i/we'll keep you posted.