Test Run

Test Run:

tonight i went shopping. i know....against the 'no shopping experiment' i've committed myself to. but i didn't buy anything. here is what went on...
i went with a friend to ikea, another place that is such a temptation. i didn't go to throw myself into temptation. i went so our kids could all play together and to have an hour to just wander with my friend. by the way, did you know you could drop off your potty trained child at ikea in their safe guarded childcare area for an hour of free play?? free?? well... i dare say it is not free. their intention is briliant! keep your kids in here for an our and shop undistracted, spend money...not free. there is more temptation when they are not distracting you to purchase things. i found myself just really not caring to be there and wanting to just sit and read. maybe next time i'll just go drop them off, grab a coffee and roll and sit and read. or just do that while their in school where i can bring my own coffee from home and read w/o spending the money on gas and being their tempted to shop! ah..always trying to thinking outside the box on this life of mine!
i think what struck me the most is that i didn't linger to see what i wanted or could have. i actually needed a new lampshade. it was only $10. but do i really need it? i asked myself this. the lamp has been in a cupboard for over a year not being used. we have plently of light in our home. it might be nice to have another, but that $10 that i didn't spend actually then paid for our dinner and dessert for all three of us.
it wasn't so hard to be there...i also had a great dear dear friend with me who also knows my journey rather intimately and having her near was secure indeed and a gift.
so, i think this marks a month one of my experiment...of rehab. it's not been hard yet, but i pray against all that is around me that i will not be tempted but be delivered from evil. oh, the lord's prayer has been a close companion these days. i pray you find comfort in it as well.
also-thank you to those who have left comments. they are such an encouragement to me. please feel free to leave comments, ask questions...i know that i am not alone...and i don't want you to feel alone either.