facade...

As I have be grazing over all these blogs on sewing, homemaking, decorating....i have this huge rush in my stomach as if it is saying, "okay...get to it, get making, cooking, decorating...catch up...show 'em that you are creative...post it..." etc...etc...and it occurred to me...is this sort of a facade? do we show the true us on these blogs? would you read it if i did?

in an effort to not glamorize our life...i want to be honest and not just have this blog out there (to whomever in the world is reading it) showing the world how glossy and pretty we are. Even though it may look like all is fine the world of the Lows, there are times and days that are trying and difficult and test my faith. i don't want to come across as someone who has their life together through this blog...because i/we don't. i must and need desperately to lean into the Love that pursues me each and every day-that is the love of the Lord. that pursuit is transforming me into His image...but that transformation comes at a cost, doesn't it?

does anyone else feel like that? i think that rush to my stomach of all the things that i should be accomplishing is something that can also turn me towards Love...towards opening in that moment to the Lord and saying to him, "really...do you really want me to live that way? how then would you have me respond dear Lord? "

so...now i look to sewing as a spiritual discipline...follow me here...

i love to shop. too much. it is something that i struggle with and am really trying to seek out the roots of what it is that i need to fill by shopping...so in an effort to not shop but to still provide for our family...i now am learning to sew. so i look at this blog (http://mymamamadeit.blogspot.com/) and it shows how to repurpose your children's old shirts into new shirts/dresses etc...i LOVE that. i have some scraps of fabric...i take the shirt and as i (tonight) go to the sewing machine...i can talk with the Lord about it, however cheesy this may sound, it helps me to see that he has provided for us. he has given me this shirt that can be repurposed into another outfit, maybe two...that he has created me to be creative and that creative energy that tells me, "get going...decorate, sew, clean!" is now channeled into a time of devotion and worship while i'm sewing with free items that the Lord has given to us.

does this make sense to you at all?

this is all in a daily effort to look towards the Lord and not towards the things on earth that call to me, "you need this to make your life prettier, better..." lord, my desire is to follow you. please walk with me as i struggle and as i succeed...may i always be open to you.

thanks for processing with me... : )