The Good

in light of facing our debt...here is the good that i have seen from it that i wanted to post in sort of thanksgiving theme fashion. i know we all have so much to be thankful for, but i just feel like this year, especially, i am so thankful.
i'm thankful for the roof over our head, the food on our table, the warmth of our home and that we have clothes, food, shelter, warm shower, warm bed and a loving community that is holding us, caring for us and just amazing
i'm thankful for our cars. they are old. but they run and are paid for in full.
i'm thankful for the fact that our budget pays for all our bills, puts some in savings, and even in the face of all that we are facing, somehow, the Lord is coordinating all our money in such a way that i'm shocked we can actually afford to buy some presents for christmas.
i'm thankful my in laws bought me a sewing machine that i can sew gifts and dresses for christmas this year
i'm thankful that this time of facing our marriage and uncovering things that were hidden is refining, purifiying and all around hard. now, that sounds weird to be thankful for this, but i don't ever want to live in fear anymore-fear of being found out-fear of hiding...i'm so thankful for ryan and his gentle gracious pursuit of my heart and his calm patient presence as i gave him my uncovered heart. you'd think after 11 years of marriage that i'd know this about my husband...but so many years of hurt and brokeness told me that trusting others was too risky. it told me that i could just keep the secrets locked away in my heart and i woudln't have to share them with anyone...but the voices of those secrets became too much to bear...and ryan received my whole life...my whole heart this year. i am so thankful for this man who loves me in all my beauty and all my mess.
i'm so thankful for grace. what would we do without our saviors grace?
i'm so thankful that i have made it since august 29th without shopping. i did buy one bag of hair stuff at savers for $3 but they are old headbands to recover for my nieces and daughter for christmas presents so they'll have matching hair stuff to go with their skirts and dresses. but..i've done it! even the fabric i have people have given to me...i need more elastic, but my process is to tell ryan what i'm doing, where i'm going and what i'm getting. this is the next phase of this journey-how to shop with the money i have and how to shop with ryan knowing about it.