am i crazy?

okay...i think i'm crazy...but i might actually be able to pull it off...here is my though process...

so, ryan is no longer working at our church in an effort to slow down and have time (& not work two jobs) to search for what is next for us. i'm sooo thankful that the Lord has really freed up his schedule (and mine!) to pray, rest, read and consider what is next.

with his job income now not coming in, our budget is as tight as ever. i have been soooo inspired by all of these blogs that i've been finding that show how to tutorials on repurposing outfits, shirts, sweaters, etc...into new clothing. if you don't know this already, i LOVE to shop. i've also been really challenged lately with this questions, "do i really need more? am i filling shopping with a need that needs to be filled with the Lord of Love?" i would even go so far to say that i have an addiction (which is hard for me to admit and be that open...but there is grace when we open our hearts to truth and stop hiding). so...what would it look like for me to stop shopping?

WHAT?!

yes, you read me right...this idea came to me a day or two ago. i'm seeing how pervasive my desire to shop has become as i see my children looking for things and saying when they see a commercial, "oh mom, i WISH i could have THAT." oh brother!!! i'm challenged with the fact that christmas is going to come up and even though we won't be able to purchase a lot of presents, what is it really about????!!! it's not about emily or william having equal amount of presents under the tree. it's about learning how to give to one another as God gave his Son to us as the ultimate gift. how can we give Jesus a christmas/birthday present and begin to instill in em and will a totally counter cultural mindset? this idea has also been confirmed to me by Ryan who was reading this book (unleashing courageous faith or tangible kingdom, can't recall!) and it challenged him on his idea of christmas and consumerism.

i think because i do struggle with wanting to shop and desiring things...what would it look like, when i feel that urge, to pause and discipline myself towards the Lord and dialoging with him about my interior struggle? what would it look like to use my awesome graduation present and scratch my never ending creative itch and take on some of these tutorials on sewing? i have stacks of clothes i never wear anymore and that is all free fabric!! i could tear it apart and have at it!! what would it look like to em and will for us to slow down, consider purchases (because we have no other choice at this stage in our life) together as a family, and also consider christmas and how we can contribute to world vision and buy a cow or school supplies for another in the name of Jesus's birth?

so...along with chronicling our adventurous life...i'll also chronicle my adventures of attempting to not clothing or shoe or purse shop. i have to buy groceries, i have to buy household items... but ... we don't need furniture (in fact, we are selling a TON if you are in need of furniture, i'm clearning out our storage unit. if we are not using now, we don't need it! lemme know if you are looking for anything specific, i'll see if i have it!), i certainly do not need clothing...sigh...i think with the Lord's help, i can do it! let's take it a semsester at a time and see how we do.

do clothing repurposing swap nights count as shopping??! hopefully not!

phew...sigh...let's go!